Who Owns Who?

Princess Python had left America (under her real name of Zelda Dubois) for India.  Now she was in the jungle searching for a replacement for her pet python, which had been killed in battle with the Punisher.  Too damned many superheroes around these days anyway...not that that stupid registration act helped any.  Clad in her tight green costume, the super-criminal wandered the jungle.

There's got to be a snake here somewhere, she thought to herself.  Then she heard a noise.  Slithering behind her was a beautiful specimen of Python molurous (sp?).  With a cruel smile, she drew her weapon, an electric cattle prod used for taming vicious pythons...and would-be heroes.

Then something very strange happened.  "Sssay, now," said a voice, "what have we here?"  Princess Python spun around, trying to locate the source of the voice.  To her shock, it was coming from the python!  Being a supervillain, Princess Python was used to mutants, aliens etc., but this had to cap them all!  "Now the animal kingdom's got mutants!" she remarked.

"What'sss a 'mutant'?" the python asked, curious.

"I don't know if you know this," Princess Python stated, "but where I'm from, animals don't talk."  Then again, there had been that Howard the Duck character...although he was an alien from some planet, so he didn't necessarily count...

A human-like smile spread across the python's face.  "Oh, I can do much more than sssimply talk," he said cheerfully.  "Sssee for yourssself..."

The python raised his head to make eye contact with her.  His eyes began to glow, emanating bright colors...

Princess Python stared at the strobing rings of light...and then she snarled angrily and BITCHSLAPPED THE SNAKE HARD ACROSS THE FACE!!  The snake gaped at her in shock.

"Wh...what wasss that for?!" exclaimed the snake.  "And how come you're resssisstant to my ssspell?"

"To answer your questions in reverse order," she said, "one: I used to work for someone called the Ringmaster.  He wore a silly-looking hat that had a similar effect; I must have developed an immunity or something.  Two: I'm - not - your - food."  She tapped the snake on the nose with her cattle prod for emphasis.

The snake blinked, then said apologetically, "I'm sssorry, but we ssseem to have gotten off on the wrong foot...or I would've if I had feet."  He offered his tail-tip like a human reaching out for a handshake.  "My name'sss Kaa.  What'sss yoursss?"

"Much better."  Princess Python shook the snake's tail.  "My real name is Zelda Dubois, but mostly I am known as Princess Python.  My line of work involves handling pythons like you."

"Really?" Kaa asked.  "Sssoundsss interesssting."

Princess Python smiled.  "I'm here because my last 'partner' is dead.  Your...talent might come in handy."

Kaa thought about it, putting his tail to his jaw like a human stroking his chin in thought.  "It'sss been boring around here...nobody to talk to but monkeysss and birdsss."  He flicked his tail-tip, the equivalent of snapping his fingers.  "I'll go along with it for the chansssce to sssee new plassscesss...esspecially if it meansss I get to ssswallow your enemiesss."

"Deal," said Princess Python with a grin.  They shook on it.